So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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