Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize