omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
