Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize