if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
