I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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