are you so shy because you have an std?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
