fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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