Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
