God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
