The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
