ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You're a waste of cheezeits
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
