She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
