Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Four minutes until I can fart!
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
