I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I deserve this hangover.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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