I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
