So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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