So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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