I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Randomize
