If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
