Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
