I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
