you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
