Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
