mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
