1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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