Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize