Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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