Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
