3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
