Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
