he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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