Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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