Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
