I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
