If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
