I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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