she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
