when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize