No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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