white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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