New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
