bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
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