What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
