Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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