He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
