I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
