If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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