singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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