there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize