I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
