lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
