I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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