ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
