She said her name was "party"
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
