Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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