I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
