Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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