i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
