i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
