I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
