I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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