i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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