yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
