my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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