i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
