i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
So. Much. Porn.
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