Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
