She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Randomize
