Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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