I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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