its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
