Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
you never un-have a 4some
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
