at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We left an ass print on the piano.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
